She asked me the most perfect question.

I had been rattling on for at least half an hour. Sipping my hot latte macchiato. Eating bits of a yummy cake.

I just couldn’t stop. As if someone had opened a hole in a dam. A waterfall of words came pouring out of my mouth.

Not that she was bored. She is such a great, loving friend. Her eyes were full of sympathy. And her heart felt sorry for what I was going through.

It had obviously hit a nerve in my system. And I was tired. So enormously tired of the whole situation.

So, after half an hour listening to me deeply, I heard her saying, “And what value is this to you?!”

I stopped. I stopped talking. I stopped drinking. I stopped thinking. I only felt those words sink in into my heart and gut feeling.

“Well, uhhmm, nothing really. Absolutely nothing”, I said.

I immediately knew what to do.

And that was ending that business relationship with two others, who didn’t get along. I felt torn between the two. But most of all, the business partnership didn’t give me any value at all. On the contrary.

I felt stuck. Trapped.

But actually, it was my own story. A self-limiting story that kept me in a never-ending loop.

Years later, I developed my SASACCO model. And I guess that moment played a huge role as a seedling for that model.

Let’s see what it means. SASACCO is – of course – an acronym. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a handy name to remember what the steps are to get unstuck in any kind of situation, in business and in life.

  • S stands for Situation; something that’s going on.
  • A stands for Assumption; to deal with that situation you assume something to be true, even without proof.
  • S stands for Story; the story that you tell yourself as a ‘proof’ for your assumption, which reinforces the current situation or makes sure you end up in the same kind of situation.
  • A stands for Awareness; that’s both self-awareness and how other people help you to realise the real truth. It’s THE key to step out of a never-ending loop.
  • C stands for Connect; connect with yourself, with nature and with other people – in a way that aligns head, heart and gut feeling.
  • C stands for Choice; what choice aligns with who you truly are and who you want to be; what is your new intention in a particular situation?
  • O stands for Opportunities; thanks to your Choice, a whole new world of opportunities opens up; which of these opportunities would fit best?

So, in my situation with those two other business partners, I made my own assumption that I should be the mediator. And the assumption that good relationships and the value that you get out of it takes time to develop.

I kept on telling that story to myself. Until my lovely good ol’ friend helped me to become aware of what was going on, and the story that I was telling myself. Her question helped me to tell myself another story. A story that I didn’t get any value out of this business partnership. Not now and not in the future.

In the moments of silence, in the ‘space in between’ I connected to myself and to what I really wanted. I made the conscious Choice to stay true to myself AND to empower the other two. This choice gave me new opportunities of how to approach this situation and how I would bring my message.

May I ask for your advice?

Are you stuck in a business relationship? Right now, or earlier? I would love to hear your challenges in the comments below.

Oh, and if you have a friend or colleague who feels stuck? Please forward this blog article to him or her. Thanks 🙂

Be free today,

Monika de Neef – The Wayfinding Entrepreneur

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